An Introduction To Reality
by idkgirl27
Summary: For some it just comes naturally... Cryde for Mickeymouse4everz


**A/N: Hello everyone!**

**This here is a Christmas gift to Mickeymouse4everz**

**She wanted Cryde so I….**

**Well, I tried….**

**Anyways please read and please enjoy!**

Clyde usually thought in terms of self, meaning that if there was no point than he wouldn't bother even trying to reap any possible benefits.

It was best to quit while he was ahead, before he could embarrass himself and disappoint others. He wasn't one to stray from what might be considered normal because the last thing he wanted was attention.

He had never been particularly confident.

When he was younger he did but that was before he learnt not to take things at face value, friends were quick to turn on him just for a quick laugh and girls only wanted what he could give them but not necessarily him himself.

So by the time he got to high school he wasn't focused on the others all he wanted was to get through the day without any injuries to who he was.

He was otherwise careless and moved without aim.

If he felt like doing something then he did it.

He watched as everyone went off towards their last class of the day but he couldn't bother with moving in the direction of where he should be going.

It wasn't as if anyone really cared where he was, if he didn't go to class than it would only be a slightly less crowded room.

It wasn't as if he was missing out on anything either because all he ever did in class was sit in the back and look out the window.

So since class was only a waste of his time he didn't to skip. As he walked down the now empty halls all he could hear were the sounds of his feet moving in no real direction but forward.

He didn't have a destination in mind.

Really anywhere would have been okay with him but eventually he did come to a stop.

Beyond the doors that faced him was the outside world.

If he was in class he'd be looking outside anyways so with that though he pushed open the doors and stepped out.

"Well…. I'm here…."

The words left with a hot breath into the cold air and Clyde bit his lip to prevent any more stupidly obvious comments. He might have been alone but Clyde was still self-conscious and desperate to impress.

A cold wind hit him and he stuffed his hands deep into his pocket. He hadn't really considered that it might be cold outside but then again he was never one to think ahead.

He'd act without thought and only when it was too late to change did he ever regret his actions. When he was younger he deal with his regrets through tears thinking that maybe if he cried enough someone would show up and help but that was before he realized that no one really care enough about him or his problems to do anything.

So he doesn't really cry anymore because he spends all his time trying to stay away from anything that causes trouble because without trouble there's no regret.

It's made him rather boring since he stays away from anything that could possibly backfire on him.

It's also left him rather lonely because he pushes people away since people in South Park only cause trouble and anyways no one likes a boring person like Clyde.

However even Clyde isn't completely immune to curiosity.

It's silly but the grey puff of smoke that's rising towards the sky is the most exciting thing he's seen in a while and he isn't sure what or who to expect as he turns the corner. Despite how much he pretends not to he actually wants the unexpected to happen because he's hearts racing and he's missed feeling this way and not having to pretend to not give a shit.

But instead all he finds is a lanky figure leaning against the wall.

"Craig?"

He looks up with dull eyes and a cigarette between his lips but the boy doesn't say a word.

Usually this is what Clyde strives for; to be unassuming and to not be the center of attention, but the way Craig seems to see right through him…

Well it isn't what he wants.

So he tries again clearing his throat, "Uh, hey, Craig."

Pulling the cigarette out of his mouth, Craig blows another puff of smoke, "So you speak."

"Um… what?"

Craig moves off of the wall and walks up to Clyde, "You're an asshole. You know that, right?"

Nervous laughter is all that is heard for a moment while Craig stares.

"What are you talking about?"

"I don't understand why you want to push everyone away because that isn't you. You're so fucking fake it's almost painful watching you."

He says that with the same bored expression and the same monotonous voice he's always had.

It's typical Craig but Clyde hasn't had to deal with him in a long time.

"Really, dude, what are you talking about?"

Dark blue eyes roll before meeting with Clyde's softer auburn ones.

"You're the type of person who cares, the type of person who wants life."

Clyde can feel the distance between them two and it's not physical. Craig just doesn't seem to be there with him. This is the longest conversation that Clyde has had in a long time and he's not used to people and he's definitely not used to Craig, who takes another drag as he tilts his head back to look at the darkening sky.

"So stop pretending to be someone you're not because you're becoming pathetic."

No one talks about Clyde anymore and no one's talked to Clyde either. So hearing Craig, who's even more silent than Clyde, doing both is pushing Clyde out of his comfort zone.

"Craig."

At the sound of his name he looks back at the brunette. Craig was starting to wonder if he'd ever say something.

"What?"

"You don't…. you don't want to live?"

"I don't care either way, live or die, it's all the same-"

Clyde had been trying his best to listen and stay calm but he doesn't want to hear the rest.

"What do you mean you don't care?! You can't just say stuff like that!"

Craig's slightly impressed with his sudden outburst but his face remains the same.

This is how Clyde's supposed to be, loud mouthed and forceful.

"Why do you care what I say?"

"Because you're my friend, okay!"

"It's almost humorous, the way you can just say that. Just proves my point that you care more than you let on. That's how you need to be. Don't become like me, Clyde."

Craig turns to walk back to his old spot on the wall but then Clyde's words stop him.

"But you care too."

"No, I really don't."

Craig stays still as he stares off not really paying any attention to his surroundings.

"If you didn't care then you wouldn't have said all that."

"Clyde, you really don't get it, do you? While you've always pretended, I've just been this way. This isn't a choice. I genuinely couldn't give a shit even if I wanted to."

Clyde's eyes go over the form in front of him.

Craig's only an inch shorter but there's something about him that seems so small and fragile. It was true that Clyde had always forced himself to act a certain way but deep down it wasn't ever natural it was forced.

He always felt pained and lonely but still he had to protect himself. It was a choice he made so that he wouldn't have to cry anymore useless tears. The whole time he had just wanted this to be his truth but seeing Craig, who's never had to try, he doesn't want a lack of feeling or a lack of life anymore.

He wants to feel and he wants Craig to feel too.

Clyde steps closer and turns Craig around to face him.

"You said you don't feel anymore but I don't believe you."

It takes only a second before he presses his lips against Craig's and the light pressure ends quickly.

Clyde hasn't had physical contact like that in years.

He feels the scarlet burn on his cheeks.

He feels the pounding of his heart and the rush in his head.

It's Craig that remains unfazed, lifting his cigarette to his mouth again and blowing the smoke into Clyde's face.

"Nothing."

Craig goes for another drag but the cigarette is thrown out of his hands and Clyde's pressing his lips and body against him.

While Clyde moves to cup Craig's chin and hold his waist, Craig's hands remain at his side and while Clyde's eyes are shut, Craig's remain wide opened.

The kiss ends again and Craig looks to his discarded cigarette.

"You've wasted it."

"Still nothing?"

Craig looks up with his dark eyes to the face of the first person to care.

When he was younger he always had felt a bit off and was never really amused and people picked on him for this, this apathetic feeling he could never change.

At least, he never thought he could change.

"I don't know how to feel, I never have."

Clyde frowns and steps back.

"So what does that mean?"

Craig leans in, suddenly his lips are barely brushing against Clyde's and he's thinking that maybe that this might be the first step.

"It means that I still have to learn."

**A/N: So there I go….**

**Merry Christmas Mickeymouse4everz!**


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